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│ *** JOB APPLICATION FORM *** │
│ INTERNAL USE ONLY – HR FORM 42069 │
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│ POSITION: │ SENIOR SPREADCHEATER (GAMER-LEVEL 100) │
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│ DEPARTMENT: │ GAMIFIED FINANCIAL OPERATIONS │
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│ JOB DESCRIPTION: │ You will be playing SpreadCheat, the only │
│ │ accounting-adjacent gaming simulator where every cell contains danger, and every formula is a bullet │ │ in your pivot table.
│ │ Candidate must survive spreadsheet-based combat & endure hostile takeovers│
│ │ occasionally help your boss design deeply cursed PowerPoints. │
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│ REQUIRED SKILLS: │ ➤ High APM (Audits Per Minute) │
│ │ ➤ VLOOKUP accuracy > 95% │
│ │ ➤ Ability to flirt with Corpy™, your AI OS assistant, while under pressure │
│ │ ➤ MIDI-tolerance & deep nostalgia │
│ │ ➤ Minimum 3 years experience lying on TPS reports │
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│ ENVIRONMENT: │ Simulated Windows 3.1 OS with CRT fidelity. │
│ │ Comes with over 12 daily calendar invites │
│ │ Having Lunch with Rick in Sales. │
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│ CORE GAMEPLAY LOOP: │ → Wake up in a cubicle. │
│ │ → Accept shady spreadsheet quest from boss. │
│ │ → Use SUMIFs to prevent corporate meltdown. │
│ │ → Fight off viruses in Minesweeper format. │
│ │ → Get promoted via internal email drama. │
│ │ → Avoid becoming a spreadsheet zombie. │
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│ COMPENSATION: │ ✓ Points per Cell Cleared │
│ │ ✓ Corpy™ gives out compliments occasionally │
│ │ ✓ Stock in “Funsoft Interactive 1997” (RIP) │
│ │ ✓ Unlock a rad blue-screen screensaver │
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│ PERKS: │ 🔹 256-color visual palette │
│ │ 🔹 MIDI soundtrack by “SynthBoyz 4 Finance” │
│ │ 🔹 Solving puzzles feels like discovering lost Wall Street secrets │
│ │ 🔹 Office minigames break up intense math │
│ │ showdowns (think Solitaire but with stakes)│
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│ CORPORATE CULTURE: │ This game runs on pure 90’s bro fuel. │
│ │ Expect office politics, inappropriate memes,│
│ │ and a suspicious lack of HR. │
│ │ You are not just playing an accountant. │
│ │ You are a finance warrior. │
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│ GREATEST MOMENTS: │ 🔸 Solving a balance sheet just in time to │
│ │ prevent a system crash │
│ │ 🔸 Clicking on an email attachment and │
│ │ getting Rick-Rolled inside the game │
│ │ 🔸 Discovering Corpy™’s dark backstory │
│ │ 🔸 Using nested IFs like a sword in a duel │
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│ DOWNSIDES: │ ◼ Sometimes the puzzles are actual taxes │
│ │ ◼ You may develop emotional dependency on │
│ │ Corpy™ │
│ │ ◼ Mid-90s UI nostalgia may cause eye strain │
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│ APPLY IF YOU: │ ◻️ Think Clippy was underutilized │
│ │ ◻️ Want to impress your manager with │
│ │ real-time formula execution │
│ │ ◻️ Miss the glorious ping of incoming e-mail │
│ │ ◻️ Enjoy turning math into combat │
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│ FINAL VERDICT: │ 8.5/10 – A pixel-perfect blend of comedy, │
│ │ combat, and cubicle chaos. SpreadCheat is a │
│ │ rare beast: a game that makes Excel feel │
│ │ dangerously cool. │

SpreadCheat is an absurdly charming and cleverly crafted love letter to the 1990s corporate grind, where spreadsheets aren’t just tools—they’re battlegrounds. Set inside a faux Windows 3.1 interface, the game captures the era’s aesthetic perfectly, complete with CRT blur, a MIDI soundtrack from “SynthBoyz 4 Finance,” and your sarcastic AI sidekick, Corpy™. The gameplay loop hilariously gamifies mundane office life: you’ll use nested formulas to fight off corporate meltdowns, solve balance sheets like boss battles, and endure a barrage of e-mails from “Rick in Sales.” The tasks are equal parts clever puzzles and nostalgic gags, including virus defense minigames styled after Minesweeper and cursed PowerPoint projects from upper management.

Where SpreadCheat truly shines is its razor-sharp satire and deep mechanical execution. It somehow makes VLOOKUP exciting, turning data manipulation into high-stakes encounters. The humor hits hard—especially if you’ve ever lied on a TPS report—and the game isn’t afraid to poke fun at bro culture, middle management chaos, and the emotional toll of falling in love with a cartoon paperclip. With pixel-perfect UI design and a surprisingly deep narrative tucked behind corporate jargon, it offers a rewarding experience for both puzzle fans and 90s kids who grew up on dial-up.
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